Hey hey...Today 20th of may...Very de sian...We go bugis again....As usual la...Go there see hong,edwin and ah le playing the WCCF game...Too bad...I no money lei,cant play...Watch them play lor...Man...What hong told me this morning really makes me don wanna go northpoint at the weekends...SCCCCAAARRREE see them...Ahahah...Stupid right...Scare for what man... Then after the trip...Hong and jovi went to sentosa celebrating jing hao's birthday...Then we all go separate ways...I follow hong and vi to harbourfront...They take shuttle bus,i take 855 back to yishun...Edwin go back sengkang,le go back yishun taking train...
In the 855...I been thinking alot of things...Many things suddenly appeared in my mind...People always ask me what i want...I always tell them,i also not sure about....Thinking of the past relationship...Yeah...I agreed with my dad...On the mother's day...13 of may...My dad said if she's a girl...He wouldnt have choose me to be his boy...I agreed with him...I told him what my weak points...
I wasnt strong enough to maintain a relationship,wasnt mature enough to maintain a relationship,cant give care,concern,freedom,happiness to a girl...When i was in a relationship....I felt that i'm blindfold to everything...I'm blind to see everything...The 1st girl who enters my heart...Esther...She taught me in studies..Asking me to study hard...Yeah...I listen to her...Try to study...But when i was in the lowest point of my studies...She left me...Hahah...Saying that my family is giving her pressure...I know...My sister,mum not really that much liking her...But i dint regret of loving you even though we are on secret...Hehe...Funny is it?Fancy saying all this things out...After the break up...Trying to add strong infront of everyone...In the past...I'm selfish,hot tempered...Everyone is leaving away...Never mind i said to myself...I can be alone...Well,i'm used to it...Haaa...
After 4 months...Eric called me...Asked in go out with a girl called Gladys...I say no problem...Let me bath first....After that...We went Junction 8 go eat Yoshi Noya(hope i dint spell wrong)...Me and a girl call Fang ting was suppose to matchmake Eric and Gladys...I don know why that day i was feeling weird...Seeing Gladys makes me feel so warmth in my heart...I know if i stay longer...Things will happened....So i told a lie...I said my friend ask me to go play basketball and i have to go now...I go off le...In mrt...I message Eric,telling him all the way...Jio her man...She's a nice girl but a bit crazy and abit les...Hehe...He showed the message to her...Gladys replied me that me and eric are just friends...Don think so much...After in the night,i recieve a message which i dint see the number before...She told me she's Gladys,i don know why i'm so high that night...Just like a kido having a new toys...We message very long.Ya...Very long...After all those message,i got a feeling that i'm once in love...When Eric got to know that i'm going after Gladys... Our relation in brothers got stray...We seldom talk...Almost avoiding each other...I feel sad...That day...I left hong house...Message both eric and gladys...Blessing them...I'll quit...I wish all the best to you 2...Both of them replied me..Eric said,Brother...Don like that..We on fair competition...Gladys asked me why i gave up?I told her..If 3 person is so stress about this things...Why not 1 person stress is enough...I wish to quit...I wish to be the one leaving...I'm wishing you 2 all the best....Eric say its ok...Fair competition..No regrets...Same to Gladys...Asking me not to give up... So i didnt give up...On the 24th May 2005 night time...I called gladys asking her whether she's free to chat...It was around 10 plus...WE chat alot of things...Chat until 4 plus...I ask her what she thinks of me cause there are total of 6 guys going after her...I hint her Eric is a nice stead...She say he stay too far...I laugh then ask what about the others...She didnt say anything...I continue saying Eric's good point...Then she say she's more interested the one staying in yishun...I was shocked!!!!Around that time..We both are shy...Then i finally bring out my guts telling and asking her to be my girl...Will try my best to make her happy...She agreed...I was overjoy!!!My mum then wake up and KP me still don want go sleep!!!!Then i tell Gladys...Dear...Go sleep bah...My mum KP me le...I miss you...See you tml....I dint sleep that night...Go school straight...My mouth couldnt stop smiling....After my class...I run to her school wait for her...We go for lunch after that...Well...I couldnt do a job as a stead....Evrytime i promises her that we'll go suntec but end up she stays in my house doing housework with my mum and watching me play maplestory...Fuck man...What am i thinking? Hahha...On the Valentine days...She left me...I remember that time i was suffering from knee and mind injury....Hahah..I didnt blame her cause truely,i'm not a good stead...She left me,wise choice...I regret...Playing too much game...Showing my temper....I was sad real sad....What's the use...
After 5 months...At alan's birthday...I get to know a girl call Karen...Hahah...Guess you all know what happened next bah...Yes...We get together on 7th july 2006...Hee...I trusted always keep her by my side...Accompany her where she wanna go...We did alot of things together....Both of us learn things from each other...She was working in pizza hut when i get to know her...She quit and join giraffe...Then because of a guy call Edward...She break with me...That time same things...I was having my exams...I was damn low....Hahah...We got patch back but still ends up breaking...Hahah...
Maybe i don have the fate of having a girl...Hmmm...Don talk so much le bah....Karen de things next time then post bah...I'm quite tired for tonite...Good nite everyone...Take care and bye...
YYY
Times Really Fly Fast [:
8:36 AM
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Hai...Today go school study...Next week got test...Must study... This days i'm bored,feeling abit lonely...Cause i continue to be my good guy...Don wish to be a devil...
Haiz...Haiz...Haiz... Stupid chengu,stupid me...Why in the hell you do this choice...You feeling great?Hahah....This weekend try my best to make myself high...Ahahah...
YYY
Times Really Fly Fast [:
4:40 AM
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Hai...Today suppose a happy day...I boom myself...Didnt i promise myself not to tell?Si Chengu...What the fuck are you thinking...Didnt you say on the weekends you wont message her?Why did you do so?See la...Problem come le...Why tell her you miss her?!!!!!!Didnt you say this gap is the best?Just a friend...Momo de shou zhu ta...Why why why??
I'm a bastard...Real fucking bastard...Maybe...This will be my last time message her find her and meet her...I blown everything...I really blown it...What should i do???Many question in my mind...And i think i shouldnt love and shouldnt being love...Who will love a bastard??I admit...I've NEVER been a good stead...Esther gladys and karen...What i have given them? Nothing...If i'm a girl...I will NOT choose a boy like me...Like to tie my stead very tied...Not giving them enough freedom,care,concern,love,security...Which girl would want this type of guy?Simply no one...Hahah...
I always try to give myself more confident...But end up?A negative answer...Qiao hui,ji hui?My love life sucks...Always dump by girls...Like that girl...Dare not speak up...Trying my best to keep my emotion...i cried in my heart...Who knows?I promised my mum...I wont cry easily...Yes... i did it...I didnt let my mum down...
Gladys...You know how much i miss you?Even when i'm with karen...I still misses you...When i'm alone...You gave me the warmth that no one has given me before...Your smile...Till now...I still remember...I know its very wrong of me...But i couldnt control it...After what happened tonight...I'm truely sorry...Hope that you and your stead wont quarrel with this matter...Sorry sorry sorry...What i can do now is to wait...I cant confirm how long can i wait...I just wish you and your stead stay happy...You happy i'm happy...When you feel like crying,i'll accompany you...If you wish to see stars...I'll accompany you...You 1 word i steady...No man yuan...Sorry..I just cant stop liking you...If you want to avoid me...Its ok...I'm used to be lonely and i can take it...Take care my friend...Loving couples for the both of you...You have my blessing...Thanks god for letting e to get to know you...Bye....
YYY
Times Really Fly Fast [:
8:52 AM
Friday, May 11, 2007
Happy birthday to you,happy birthday to you,happy birthday to jovi,happy birthday to you....Jovi...17 le wor...Must be more mature le...I know tonight she's not going...Don worry...You still got us to gay with...Remember...Life is NOT just her and Nobodyelse...
Hai....Yestaday zhen de shi yi can huan xi yi can kong....She called me,ask me where am i...Then ask me whether want to me her not...My answer is fast,short and simple...YES,i now go...We meet at 237...Hahah...Seeing her and wendy come...I knew something will going to happen...Hahah...Zhen de very zhun...Wendy tell me to accopany her to wait for her stead to come...Kao...Wendy knew i like her,then why in the hell she still ask me to stay?Trying to make me agony...Maybe she dint do it on purpose de bah...Maybe she just don wanna be a lightbulb herself...Finding a person to accompany to be 1....Zhong zhi,very saddening...I make a lie....Telling them i'm meeting wee di and i go off....
Ok la...I going off le...Byebye..
YYY
Times Really Fly Fast [:
7:12 PM
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Hey man...This sat we are going to make jovi upside down...Hahah...Very sian lehz...Just come in see see....Byebye...Got to go...Byebye
YYY
Times Really Fly Fast [:
2:46 AM
Thursday, May 3, 2007
haha...don know how many days never come in le...still the same...i hate weekend...so lonely...cant message...cant stay around yishun,town area,bugis...whole man...sucks...is there a place where i can spend a day without troubles?i can play like siao kia?Haha...
maybe go bugis again...with ah le...he wanna buy boxer...haha...bugis...seem like every week i'm going there to do fishing...hai...but i want the fish is already hooked up...i'm just waiting...waiting...